The Only Reason to get Married is…

‘Tis the season to… get hitched? Well, maybe weddings themselves are more popular in June, but according to a survey sponsored by the Fairchild Bridal Group (the people who publish Modern Bride) marriage proposals in November and December represent more than a quarter of all proposals for the entire year. And this is the reason most people get married – not because they’ve thought about why they want to get married, but simply because someone asked them! This brings me to the subject of this week’s blog: a young man I met recently named Antonio. He’s 24, and he used to play soccer in his native Spain but had to give it up after a foot injury ended his career. He made the best of his situation and turned to music and songwriting as a new career path. I encountered him because he provides music equipment for bands, and also karaoke machines for people like me who like to have noisy Xmas parties. As we chatted, he mentioned that he loves his job, he loves his band, and he has an ex-girlfriend he’s thinking about marrying. As you can imagine, I made a face at that, and asked him for clarification.

I mean, why would he want to marry someone who is his EX-girlfriend? Presumably the EX part is for a reason! He suddenly got very quiet and shrugged and said, “I guess I just… I don’t know… you know, she really wants to get married.” What? No no no. NO! I cannot have any response to that other than NO.

I asked Antonio if he would be interested in the kind of advice that would change his life and his way of thinking. I explained a little about who I am and what I do, and before he could really respond either way, I jumped right in to tell him my thoughts on the matter. After all, when again would I get an opportunity to mold his young spirit and get him onto the right path? I knew this was a critical moment and I would only have one chance to get it right.

“Here’s the thing, Antonio,” I said. “The only reason you should ever even CONSIDER, even for a brief moment, the sacrament of marriage, is because when you wake up in the morning, this beautiful, amazing person is the first thought in your head, and that thought makes you glow from the inside all day long, and you cannot stop thinking about how lucky you are that you get to spend your free time with this person, and that you get to be the recipient of their love and respect, and vice-versa. There should be no doubt in your mind that this is how you feel, before you even let the word ‘marriage’ come anywhere near the conversation.”

He stared at me as if he’d just been smacked in the face with a book and was wondering which direction it came from, and thought I knew I came on strong, I did it intentionally, hoping to get through to his young brain. He could have responded in a dismissive or irritated way, but he didn’t – he simply stared at me for a few seconds, and then slowly said, “thanks for that.” Did I get through to him? Well, of course I have no way of knowing for sure, but lets just say that this very professional and very competent young man left without collecting the very item he came to pick up.

And that made my day! It always thrills me when I can get through to people by using my larger-than-life passion for helping people find real love!

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