The Low FODMAP Diet Helps With Bloating


First of all, I’m sure we can agree that diet fads are usually lame. They have little to no health benefit other than the diet-marketers making money and you being attracted with unrealistic body expectations and weight loss dreams. However this diet is not about losing weight.. it is a diet specifically helpful for those who struggle with painful bloating, IBS, sensitive stomachs, prior intestinal surgeries (ding ding!!) and other digestive issues.

After my emergency surgery in October of 2014 I couldn’t eat most things… my small intestine was healing and painful. However because of this, when I was physically able, I had an urge to eat EVERYTHING. I ate ate ate and especially loved sugar and carbs. I have a serious sweet tooth. My tummy did not like this.. it was more sensitive than ever and it began to look like I had a beach ball under my shirt, even more so around “that time of the month”. My whole body was relatively thin other than this big bloat! I even had people asking if I was pregnant AND touching my belly when I was out.. how embarrassingly terrible!

So my doctor had given me this diet and at the time I was just not interested. I didn’t have hope my stomach could change after this intestinal resection. I tried the medication and it worked a little bit but not to the extent I was hoping to relieve of this bloating and pain. After trying to do things my own way I finally realized I MUST try this diet regardless of how hard it would be. After that, I noticed a gradual change even within a week. I would wake up and my stomach would be flat, no bloat. I would go through the day and although it was hard to avoid bread and cake I continued to feel like I was not struggling with bloat! Hurray! Not only that but with increase in low fodmap foods I have been losing the extra weight I put on when I was eating unhealthily. I attribute this to eating healthier and exercising.. which are the only things anyone should be doing to get in shape. Starving yourself, trying fad diet pills, etc are likely just quick fixes and are not improving your health!

So what do you eat (and avoid) on the low fodmap diet?



Avoid: Garlic, onions, wheat, leeks, nectarines, barley, rye, lentils, pistachios, kidney beans, chickpeas, broccoli
Eat: Quinoa, rice, corn, potato, buckwheat, eggplant, squash, pumpkin, bok choy, cucumbers, endive, tomato, zucchini, gluten-free products

Lactose (Disaccharide)

Avoid: Milk, cottage cheese, ice cream, yogurt, sour cream
Eat: Feta, cheddar cheese, parmesan, lactose-free dairy (or lactaid), almond milk (ensure inulin is not added ingredient), plain lactose-free yogurt

Fructose (Monosaccharide)

Avoid: High-fructose fruits and foods like apples, mangos, honey, asparagus, pears
Eat: More evenly distributed fructose/sucrose fruits like bananas, blueberries, kiwi, raspberries, strawberries


Avoid: Avocado, mushrooms, cauliflower, prunes, peach, cherries, blackberries, sugar alcohols (often in candy like: xylitol, sorbitol), molasses, watermelon
Eat: Honey dew, cantaloupe, raspberries, stevia, white or raw sugar (limited), pure maple syrup

Many of these foods should not be completely excluded, as they can be good for you if you’re not sensitive to them. On a low-FODMAP diet you aren’t eliminating these different types of carbohydrates completely—just reducing them — so if you slip-up it’s not the end of the world, keep going.

Some Go-To Recipes

Because the rest of my family is not really low-fodmap and eats bread, noodles, fruits and veggies that are high fodmaps.. I get major cravings. Some things I can make for them that they don’t mind: fried chicken with corn flakes vs crackers, noodles with rice noodles, homemade pickles (remember garlic and onion are very bad for fodmappers and that stinks!!). As usual my recipes are not exact measurements because that’s how I cook (by sight and feel).

Grilled Cheese Quesadilla

  • Corn (gluten free) Tortilla
  • Cheddar Cheese
  • Tomato (love grilled cheese with tomato!)
  • Dollop of non or low lactose plain yogurt on top
  • Directions
    Place the tortilla in a greased pan or on griddle that’s on medium heat. Put some shredded cheese on top and when it melts place a slice of tomato on top, fold in half, top with a dollop of yogurt.

Fried Chicken

  • Corn flakes
  • Bit of Corn Starch or Tapioca Starch
  • Salt & Pepper
  • Egg
  • Thawed Chicken
  • Directions
    Oil for frying (olive oil + bacon grease for flavor!)
    Heat oil to high heat, dip chicken into beaten eggs and then into crushed corn flakes mixture (with corn starch and salt & pepper). Turn chicken when browned. Remove when internal temp is at least 345 degrees Fahrenheit.

French Toast

  • Gluten free white bread
  • Splash of Lactaid Milk
  • Egg
  • Vanilla
  • Cinnamon
  • Maple Syrup (actual maple syrup, not the sugary brands of syrup)
  • Directions
    Dip bread into the milk, eggs and vanilla. Heat in greased pan or on griddle until lightly browned on each side. Sprinkle with cinnamon. Top with a bit of maple syrup.


  • Rice cakes + peanut butter (check ingredients!) + banana slices
  • Plain potato chips (you can haz!!)
  • GH Cretors Chicago Mix (a serving takes care of sugary cheesy cravings!)
  • Corn chips + cheddar cheese + jalapeños + oven/microwave to melt cheese + no/low lactose dollop of yogurt
  • Banana + lactose free vanilla yogurt + sprinkles of raw sugar + thin popsicle stick + freeze for 1 hour = banana pop (my kids LOVE these)
  • String cheese stick
  • WOW Baking Co Lemon Burst Wheat & Gluten Free Cookies
    These cookies have no high FODMAPs! They also make other flavors but the only ones that might be ok are Snickerdoodle and Peanut Butter however I haven’t checked them!
  • Snack Stops: Target, Fresh Market and Whole Foods have a bunch of snacks made for those of us on restrictive diets if you look around and check ingredients! Gluten and dairy free have been more and more accepted in other grocery stores, as well.
  • Peppermint and Ginger teas (if you sweeten use white or raw sugar, not honey) are always a good idea for your tummy!

bagged-lemon-burst GH CRETORS CHICAGO MIX yellow gluten free cake mix

Those should give you a few ideas! For instance you can fry eggplant for eggplant parm with the same mixture as the chicken above but remember to make your own tomato sauce because garlic and onion are in most or all tomato sauces! You can also substitute spaghetti noodles for rice noodles (MAI FUN).

As you see above, I found a new favorite dessert/snack food that doesn’t cause me bloating and doesn’t have any major offenders in it: GH Cretors Chicago Mix! This is really a treat because most candy popcorns I found had at least one big bloat-inducer or just left me feeling those same bloated feelings. It takes care of all of the cravings in one bag.

More Tips

Differing Information

You might notice after exploring low FODMAP food lists that many different doctors and people disagree on foods. I find the best thing is to check Monash University‘s app list then to read about the ingredients myself if I’m not sure in a store. It takes some getting used to and it’s confusing and tough at first but it starts to make sense soon! It’s easier when you’re going and getting more accustomed to listening to your body (belly) and what things bother YOU!


Beware of SPICES! Although all spices except for garlic and onion are fine many spice mixes (including yellow curry!) have onion and garlic IN them. This includes broths. These two flavorful guys taste SO GOOD but cause me a lot of discomfort especially on this diet.. I notice very quickly if they are in something after I’ve cut FODMAPs down/out. So be sure to look out for them. Green onions (scallions) and chives are safe if only the green tops are used and they’re used minimally. So your cherished fried rice and noodles can survive as long as you skip the bulbed onions and garlic!

How Long?

If you decide you do want to adopt a low FODMAP diet, it’s best to talk to your doctor first. If you can, try to commit to the diet for at least a month before you determine if it’s beneficial for you and your digestive system. It’s best to keep a journal (I have one on my phone so I can always easily write notes about foods) along the way to document changes and reactions to foods. I find even low FODMAP foods can give me bloating and some high FODMAP foods won’t! It’s a good idea to keep it handy.

Introducing FODMAP Foods

Also after you try the diet for a month you can start to introduce new foods you used to love by eating one a day or so and see how they affect you. You might be skipping on something that you find you can eat with little discomfort.

FODMAP Friendly Sites

If you decide to try the diet, let me know your experience and if you need support! I’ll be sure to update about my journey more in the future. xo

Expand Your Brand with Miseducated


You might have noticed in the last several months I’ve been seamlessly combining my portfolio and marketing work with my blog here at Miseducated. This is due to the fact I needed to expand my business hosting account so I decided to combine my efforts and enhance my brand. In a part I can now equally focus on expanding the agency for work as well as continue blogging passion. Below you’ll find a press release of sorts with advice for those looking to expand their brand, build an online presence, and acquire new client attraction.

Miseducated is not just a blog but is also a boutique marketing agency that creates attractive business promotions, attractive brands, and premium web sites. With over 15 years of web design and social media marketing expertise; I understand effective design.

Miseducated offers you innovative and attractive design, captivating imagery and gold-woven copy combined with compelling offers and strategic promotional methods to bring you new client attraction and more attention from loyal clients. If you provide a product or service, I will teach you how to be the next big thing and provide you with a competitive advantage in your marketplace.

Many companies mistakenly implement a fundamental brand and website to save on operating and marketing costs. These website design efforts range from adequate to amateur (from drag and drop to friends and family help) ultimately sacrificing the polished online presence necessary to stand out in a crowd. As you know the field of design is a competitive business with many amateurs claiming they know design and marketing strategies, but when it comes down to it most are not able to deliver.

Business owners upon hiring an unqualified agency or designer soon realize novice web design efforts result in amateur results. They discover the site is not providing a competitive advantage, not attracting new clients, and that their site is similar to thousands of others – a total red flag in all business.

How can you avoid this problem? When hiring a brand designer or marketing agency you should be served with an initial consultation as well as a roadmap that outlines the specific actions you and your company will take to out-maneuver peers for needed resources and client retention. There should be measurable goals within the plan so you can be sure your new design and marketing strategy are serving your company as planned and moving your organization forward. A professional can translate the essence of your unique business into a savvy, engaging website and online brand.

In short, The right website will show off your business and allows you to reach out to new customers and stay in touch with current ones. So, ask yourself today, if your website is a true reflection of your business then what is your website reflecting about your brand?

Look in my design portfolio here for some examples of marketing design.




She’s Too Pretty to Have No Curves, Curves, Scars, Curls


There’s a pet peeve I have that I feel is a prevalent issue in our society and yet I see little to no articles around the specific flavor of it while cruising through Google and the blogosphere… I’m hoping I just missed them but regardless, I must write. I’m referring to how, “She’s too pretty to… *insert visual ailment or critique here*”, or “She would look better if…” My parents told me as a child that I was beautiful. However as I got older (into the grade school years) I began hearing comments, like most girls do, about how I shouldn’t wear wrinkled clothes, how I shouldn’t eat too much sweets or gain weight, how I should brush my hair, how I should take care of my skin, how I should appear in public. All slightly caring things.. but they soon started to get worse and much more critical.

You see, as most (if not all) women get older, the comments get WORSE. Much, much worse and what’s even more tough is they are generally coming from your peers and people whom you respect. People whom you want to like and accept you.

“Why is your face cracking?”, asked a first-grade classmate, referring to my slight spider veins. After which telling the entire class how scary my face was and many of my friends turning around and laughing at me. My face wasn’t cracking… my heart was.


As you start to near and/or go through puberty as a young woman you can be sure things will again take a change for the worst. Suddenly you are not just a child anymore, suddenly you are expected to be whatever form of beautiful the person criticizing you appreciates. Suddenly if you’re eating too much dessert you’re going to get too fat to have any friends. If you’re growing too fast you’re going to look like a promiscuous 11-year-old that is unknowingly asking for attention from boys and men. If you’re growing too slow you’re going to earn songs of mockery about how your chest is flat. Blatant critiques about how your hair is too short, too long, too flat, too full. About how your skin is too pale or too dark. About how your legs are too short or too wide. About your body hair is too dark, too thick or too long. Never mind how different each of us are, how she might have vitiligo but you have a scar; she has spider veins but you have dark body hair; she might have acne but you have curly hair; how she has thick thighs while yours are “chicken legs.” Why isn’t a girl pretty BECAUSE she’s unique? Because of her freckles? Because of her scar? Because of her skin coloration? Because of her texture of hair? Because of her build? Why do we all have to fit a mold of whatever is deemed attractive when we don’t even want to? When we don’t even agree? When we want to be ourselves? When everyone should adore us for our unique, visual features?


The worst of all these critiques start coming from your friends as a pubescent girl and from other girls. Girls begin to lose sight of lifting each other up and being strong together and instead choose to tear each other down and gain “status.” They begin to believe if they tear her down for her hair then they’ll feel better about their own. The walls between women begin to be built. In a personal example I remember being teased incessantly in 6th grade at age 11 because I hadn’t developed breasts yet and my classmates had began to. Then when I arrived at school after summer break ready to start 7th grade (with breasts) I was suddenly attacked by all of my friends for stuffing my bra. When I showed them I didn’t stuff my bra in gym class I was teased for trying to seduce them and labeled a lesbian. When I avoided guys I was a “lesbian” but when I had guy friends I was “slutty.” I hadn’t even began to date at the age of 13 and already I was labeled with just about every female-based insult you could come up with. By other girls. By my “friends.”

Why are girls taught to do this to each other? Why do we continue to do it in new and more covert ways as we age?

I began to get comfortable with myself in college and I just avoided people who openly judged me by my appearance. I gained my freshman 30 pounds and my clothes stopped fitting and I felt happy. In all of the photos of that period I’m smiling from my heart. I’m with my friends whom accept me regardless of my size, regardless if I lost 40 pounds the following year or gained another 30, friends I still have to this day. I felt accepted and happy in a positive community of supportive women.

Years later, in graduate school, came the body-shaming to a degree I realized I had only tasted in middle school.

Lately there has been a lot of social media popping up about fat-shaming, about curvy hash tags and models with figures of a larger clothing size, about disgusting comedians who insult a whole selection of people based on size. About how companies don’t have “real women” as models and how companies that use non-models showing their natural, naked bodies in a tasteful way get sued for “pornographic material.” About how bikini’s look on voluptuous, “real women” vs thin, fake ones.

It reminded me of being the only “skinny” girl in my graduate class.. about being teased about my clothing not fitting my body right, about my saving my food/dessert to eat at home because I must be “anorexic”, about how men don’t like bones cracking together and they want a “real woman” to hold onto. About how I’m not a real woman. About how I don’t have large breasts and therefor am a child, not a woman. Now I understand these women must have had prior experiences of being treated in a similar way or they probably wouldn’t be doing it to me but why are we so happy to pass on the shaming to each other? The teasing got worse and worse every late night we worked together on our project. Why wasn’t I eating enough? Do I need a hamburger? They will THROW a hamburger at me if I’ll eat it! I’m 22 and I don’t even have cleavage! What’s my issue with food? Am I not eating enough? Do I buy my clothes in the toddler section? I look unhealthy! I decided not to go back the next semester. My anxiety had grown to an all-time high for many reasons but I felt it getting worse just being around those two, strong-willed women who couldn’t accept me because of my size.


This was in 2008 and although many things have changed since then.. one thing hasn’t. Women are still building walls in between each other that weren’t even theirs to build. Whatever current, boring beauty standard seems like the truth is only a lie and an opportunity to further pull each other down. Don’t even get me started on the current great makeup debate about how we should wear makeup, shouldn’t wear makeup or how we must be insecure liars if we do, too masculine if we don’t. Or how if we wear colorful, revealing or tight clothes we must be asking for attention from everyone. When really we shouldn’t have to force ourselves to fit within anyone else’s mold of beauty and we certainly can’t expect push our sisters into that mold with us if we try. We are women, we must stick together and protect our beautiful spirits. When women encourage each other amazing things happen.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.. with all of these debates going around describing what “real women” do or do not look like, act like, have or are.. Real women have HEARTS. We’re all real women.


Current Events

Get listed here?

Toronto police officer told a crowd of college women that if they wanted to avoid sexual assault, they shouldn’t dress like sluts.

Amber Rose Slut Walk LA

Lipstick feminism is a movement that attempts to dislodge the idea that traditional ideas of femininity undermine women. This movement encourages women to embrace things like makeup and feminine clothing, including revealing clothing, in order to show that having qualities that are defined as female does not make one inferior.

– Shaming women for makeup a destructive, anti-feminist approach, The Collegian

Instead, can we all just agree that we’re all uniquely perfect in our own way? Can we just start celebrating ourselves for who we are and not be so caught up in the competition?

– Curvy vs. Skinny: Let’s End the Women’s Weight War Once and for All, The Huffington Post

Amnesia: When You Forget Your Life and Love


I’ve been through a lot of things in the last 30 years, and yes, I know it sounds incredibly cliche and probably quite unlikely. I never ever thought some things would happen; others were completely normal to me and even more seemed like a movie or soap opera (completely unreal and strange). Every one of these things has changed me and made me who I am today, I am grateful I can speak about these things and live a healthy life both in spite and in honor of them.

Almost exactly a year ago one of my worst nightmares came true. I say worst nightmare about several key fears of mine and every single one of them has happened in some way. I’ve arrived at a place that I’m fearful to even have a worst nightmare anymore (so I don’t!). My furry companion (and life-long best buddy!) passed away at the age of 17 as I explained in Cats Are Good for Your Health and that was tough enough.. but next I came face to face with an even scarier experience. My soul mate had a major health scare (an isolated siezure) which was followed by severe amnesia for the following two days. I was strong, I kept positive. The kids really had no idea because I maintained that everything was completely fine and that dad was just feeling sick. I helped him feel safe even when he didn’t really know who I was. I took charge of his health and comforted him when he was confused, hurt or overwhelmed. They said his memory should come back within a few days if not the following weeks or months. They said it should come back but they didn’t know when because they’d never witnessed such a severe case. I just believed his memory would come back even when I didn’t understand why. I believed he would be ok and his brain would be healthy. I believed he would again remember me, our children, our home, our life. I knew he couldn’t have a tumor or serious condition. I practiced the law of attraction and stayed positive.

His memory gradually came back over the following days and the whole experience became an invaluable lesson for both of us in different ways, something we won’t soon forget. I got the experience of knowing that if the love of my life didn’t know me and got to decide if he would choose to do it all over again, he would. He told me in his severe amnesia that although he couldn’t remember who I was or our relationship he knew inside that I was his soul mate. He said he had this feeling inside that I was the only girl for him. He knew that he wanted to marry me and he knew my nickname when contemplating for a long time in the far parts of his brain (even though he kept calling me Farah Fawcett–the sex symbol when he was a kid). What was humorous was when he told me several times he didn’t know me but he’d like to get to (hah!) and felt shocked and modest when I helped him find the restroom and stepped inside.

For him, he felt grateful in an unreal way. He said he woke up into a life he couldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams and he hoped he could always remember how blessed he is even when he feels he is struggling. He saw all of the small and big things alike and how important each and every one of them are — how lucky many of us are but we forget because we’re so involved in our lives. When we came home he couldn’t believe this huge house was our home.. he couldn’t believe he lived here with me and loved seeing the photos of the wonderful times we shared. He DID remember Hobbes and he didn’t remember that he passed, so he got to mourn that several times over the days but he also got to know Calvin (as a kitten) all over again and felt grateful that this tiny feline wanted nothing more than to cuddle him.

We fell asleep that first night in each other’s arms when he still didn’t really know who I was and I felt incredibly grateful that no matter what he remembered I knew he was the only man for me.

To be continued…


(500) Days of Summer Discernment


“If you don’t like Zooey Deschanel, you’re incapable of love.” is a phrase that has shoddily fallen from my lips a lot, lately. Theoretically, this may have something to do with the following facts:
1. She’s my doppelganger, and who doesn’t love their second self?
2. I support everything Ben Gibbard (Death Cab for a Cutie / The Postal Service) does, and any friend (or in this case, wifey) is ‘okay’ in my book  and/or
3. I encourage rampant sarcasm.

Therefore, it seems only logical that I would be watching (500) Days of Summer over and over… And over… And over again. I’m fairly certain that there’s a cult devoted to Deschanel, and after the release of this movie, the members in which doubled, maybe even tripled in size. Unfortunately, I have yet to pledge my allegiance to actress/singer-songwriter by branding her face on my rib cage and learning the secret cult handshake, so if you thought this article was to be consecrated to her, you’ve been sadly mistaken.

What I would really like to share are all of the things I learned the third and fourth (..Fifth…And sixth…) viewing of romantic comedy-drama. The quotes that had stuck out distinctively, yet were so easy to over look. Like Twilight merchandise in a Hot Topic store. The little lessons embedded within the script that may or may not have been intentional, but will be interpreted and analyzed anyway (It’s your high school English class all over again. Did the light at the end of Daisy’s dock really represent all of Gatsby’s hopes and dreams, or was there just a light at the end of her dock? How do you know, teaching’ lady?! Did you have coffee with Fitzgerald or somethin’?!)

Tom: What happens if you fall in love?

Summer: Well, you don’t believe that, do you?

Tom: It’s love. It’s not Santa Claus.

Do you remember Santa Claus? Do you remember the whole-hearted belief that he existed? Ever got into a fight at school over his actuality? You never had to see him Christmas night, despite how late you may have stayed up, to believe that it was him who had put all those presents underneath the Christmas tree, but you were willing to fight for his honor. Don’t you wish you had believed in him just a little while longer, nostalgically wishing for that same whimsy every holiday?

Love is an awful lot like Santa Claus, it only exists if you believe in it. You won’t see Cupid’s arrows shoot through someone’s chest cavity, but there are literally millions of signs that prove it’s existence.  And we need to fight for the belief that it’s there, much like we had done with Old Saint Nick. What most older (cruel) children seem to forget when they crash our childhood down is that Saint Nicholas did exist, as does love. The only difference is that Kris Kringle was a mortal person, whereas love is an idea. A feeling. An indescribable occurrence, that will only live as long as we allow it to.

Most days of the year are unremarkable. they begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday.

This was a quote with the kind of brutal and merciless honesty that cut me like a hot knife through butter when it collided against my ears. Imagine being on your deathbed and realizing that most of the days in your life were painstakingly monotonous. You woke up, you went to work or school, you came home. There were only a few special memories lingering in your head after your seventy,eighty,ninety years of life.

We need to find a way to make our lives mean more to us. We cannot keep spending  the majority of our time here interacting with a lifeless machine. We need to stop telling our friends ‘happy birthday’ on their wall as we say it on the right side of the screen and actually make the effort to remember on our own, make a phonecall. Social networking should not be synonymous for social gathering. Life is too short for these hollow friendships that are solidified with ‘likes’, comments, and ‘wall posts’ rather then actual conversation. Everything there is to know about me cannot be found on my page.

Paul: Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She’s real.

To often I see girls and guys pass up their opportunity with an absolutely fantastic person because they’re waiting for someone ‘better’ to come along, who never does. We need to get over ourselves and get to know one another before we make any sort of judgements. There is no such thing a perfect dream guy/girl, everyone has flaws (and I don’t care how cute you think ‘awkward’ is, not everyone’s flaw is going to be ‘awkward’). We need to stop waiting around for some dream person, or some dream job to come up and sweep us away, or we’ll be waiting around forever.

Tom: People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, not ya know, some words that some stranger put in their mouth. Words like love, that don’t mean anything. Sorry, I’m sorry, I um, I quit. There’s enough bullsh*t in the world without my help.

This one is as simple as it gets: What are words if you don’t mean them when you say them? When you speak, speak from your own heart, as genuinely as you can.

Summer: We’re just friends.

Tom: No! Don’t pull that with me! Kissing in the copy room? Holding hands in Ikea? Shower sex? Come on! Friends my balls!

I really shouldn’t have to tell any of you lovely gals this, but on the slim and highly unlikely chance that this smidgen of wisdom skipped over you: Don’t send mixed signals. Be as clear as you can, as straight forward as possible. With relationships, at work, with friends. Misinterpretation can get ugly, especially when it’s deliberate. If you don’t know what you want, don’t act on impulse until you do. It will save you and a variety of people in your life a whole lot of trouble.

What about you? What are you favorite (500) quotes? Is there any reason why?