Work Keeps the Light Coming In

Deericorn adoption papers~ haha ;) Remember to take your pills~

I was watching ’16 and Pregnant’ recently because I can’t seem to get enough young mom drama. It makes me feel like my crazy working and being a mommy life is much less stressful when I see these girls juggling school, work and their families at such a young age.

One of the girls on the show (Kailyn) said something that rang true to me and now every time I start to slack a little I hear her words.. that I just have to keep working because work will keep the light coming in. At such a young age, she understands. When it all seems so overwhelming, so impossible, work will keep the light coming in. Never stop working to meet your goals. Work towards them everyday.

Sometimes I have a tough time being present with all of the things rolling through my mind, as we discussed in Learning to Live in the Moment, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Join me again next week in my mission to live a happy, healthy and inspired life.

Learn to See People for Who They Really Are

on melrose

I’d like to travel, for a moment, back to the time when I was five years old. I remember my mother shushing me for trying to talk to a stranger. I didn’t understand what the big deal was. She said that “we don’t talk to strangers,” and that “it’s rude to ask people personal questions!” This made no sense to me at all – if you never talk to strangers, how are you supposed to make any friends or get to know anyone? Obviously I wanted to avoid a spanking, so I did as I was told, but even the threat of corporal punishment couldn’t quell that insatiable desire inside me to talk to people and get to know them. Now, of course, it’s part of my work as a relationship expert, but what I’d like to do today is pass on to you the skill of really getting to know people, including yourself.

Going back to my childhood for a moment, I used to make mud pies quite frequently. I’d put them on my neighbors’ doorsteps and wait to see how they reacted. In my head, this was a way of testing the waters to see who was friendly and who wasn’t. If someone accepted the pie and the humor that came along with it, then for me they were safe, friendly, and open. If they didn’t see the humor, then I would use that as a sign to steer clear. I didn’t cry about it or beg them to like the pie or call them or stalk them or promise to change the pie into something they’d like better… I just moved on to another doorstep and tried not to take it personally. My pies weren’t to everyone’s taste, and that was fine. No big deal.

So I’m asking you now to make the leap forward with me and apply this to your own life. How many of us currently play a much more neurotic version of the mud pie game, giving too many pies to people who don’t want them, and causing unnecessary suffering by not listening to our intuition when it tells us the response to the pie isn’t a positive one?

Learning to see people for who they really are – and who they aren’t – is not just a matter of learning a few clever tricks that will give you insight into the opposite sex, and that’s not what I’m trying to do here. Instead, I want to give you the power tool of all power tools for your relationship tool belt – the knowledge of how to inner-view for success!

The difficult part about “learning to see people for who they really are” isn’t the people out there – it’s learning who YOU really are and what you really want. If you look at great relationships and think that could never happen to you, I want you to know that you are wrong! Great relationships ARE possible for you! You just have to put in some initial legwork getting to know yourself, and setting up a plan that will not only help you succeed in finding someone compatible for you, but that will also greatly increase your chances at having a great relationship.

Remember that getting older does not necessarily mean getting wiser. Many of us make the same mistakes over and over again. But the basics of a great relationship are easy to learn, no matter how many times you’ve gotten it wrong. When we want to explore a spark we feel for someone, we offer up the adult version of a mud pie: a friendly introduction, a smile, or a flirty glance. Then it’s the intuition’s turn to measure the response we get from that, and decide either to back away, or take another step forward into a conversation. After that next step, then the intuition does its magic again, and again it’s up to us to read the signs and choose which way to go. My goal for you is this: once you have a comfortable knowledge of who you are and what you want, then you can learn to take your passion for connecting with someone, and use it wisely, to make sure your time and energy are spent on the positive road to your next great relationship!

Getting Magnified With Nubby Twiglet

Visualize what you want out of life, big or small and work hard. Stay focused. It’s never supposed to be easy.

what i wore nubby twiglet fashion style outfit

Q.

Nubby! There are all kinds of creative people around the globe, but many of them find real difficulty in pinning down exactly what it is they would like to make a living doing. How did you take the plunge and commit to graphic design, and what advice would you give to people still ‘working it out’?

A.

It’s completely normal to experiment before committing to a career. I would start by asking yourself what you’re truly passionate about. What do you enjoy doing most in your free time? What’s the one thing that you’re willing to stay up late and do, no matter how tired you get?

In school, my two strongest subjects were always Art and English. I loved ripping up fashion magazines and making collages, playing with sheets of rub-on letters and flipping through old advertising and poster books. I knew that fine art is really subjective and that it wasn’t going to be an easy way to make a living right away. Graphic design combined my love of art and type with one of my other passions; advertising. The thing is, once your passion becomes a job, it’s not all about fun and leisure anymore. There’s a level of professionalism that goes into it and at the end of the day, there are certain things you have to do to ensure that you get paid. Even when you’re working for yourself, the money has to come from somewhere.

If you’re unsure of what you want to do, reach out to teachers, mentors and career counsellors. Take some classes for fun. The more things you try, the easier it is to realize what you DON’T want to do. When I was in college years ago, I did filing in offices, stuffed invoices into envelopes and worked retail. All of these jobs built character and made me appreciate the career that I have now.

Q.

You seem to have been incredibly practical in the pursuit of what many would consider an impractical or ‘risky’ career choice, is that how you see it? Did you face any naysayers along the way and, if so, how did you deal with that?

A.

I always felt that any career in art or design was really risky and that’s probably because my parents always worked traditional office jobs, doing sales. That’s one of the main reasons I went to school first for business. My mom encouraged me because she knew I had the potential and in a way, I think she wanted me to have something to ‘fall back on.’ After I completed that degree though, I just didn’t feel fulfilled. I had already started to do freelance design work but felt like I wasn’t as proficient or knowledgeable as I wanted to be. I had a lot of people around me who just didn’t get it…I was supposedly done with school and trying to go back for something completely different.

At 25, I didn’t want to waste another four years in school and this is why I chose to do a two year, limited entry graphic design program. I’d always dreamed of working at an ad agency and what I soon realized is that the combination of marketing and design backgrounds meshed perfectly for my career path. Listen to your instincts – there are always going to be naysayers. But, it’s your life. You know best.

magazine typofiles typography

Q.

Your work seems like so much more than a 9-5 for you, it is clear from your blog how intertwined your job, lifestyle, fashion sense and even home decor are! How important do you think it is to blur the lines between work, life and play in terms of career fulfillment?

A.

A career in design doesn’t necessarily have a starting and stopping point. Inspiration will hit you at completely random times and I think that as a designer, it’s a natural progression for your interests at that moment to seep into your outfit choices, home decor, blogging topics, etc. I’ve always strived to have a seamless line between my work, life, and blog. It’s definitely tricky because I am the face of my brand and my personality is interconnected heavily with my work.

I don’t think it’s necessary to blur the lines between your work, life and play – if anything, it’s probably a relief for most people to break away at the end of the day. I’ve done things differently because it makes sense in my life, but I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone. It has to feel like a natural progression.

week in pictures

Q.

You’ve mentioned both your brand and your personality and how key they are in your career, how important do you think a ‘personal brand’ is for a career in the creative industries? What advice would you give to someone looking to brand themselves within their market – where should they start?

A.

Most of the time, a person’s work speaks for itself but in a flooded market, often what makes someone stand apart is their personality and ability to potentially relate to their customers. There are so many designers out there – the personal connection you make with your customers is going to be the defining factor that keeps them coming back. I’ve always said that it doesn’t matter how good you are if nobody knows how to find you. Branding yourself in a recognizable, uncluttered manner will help you get remembered. Start by building an online presence through various social media platforms and showcase your work on your own domain, whether that’s a website or a blog. Reach out to people you admire – often, they’ll help you along and even show you the ropes, no questions asked. A simple logo that will mature with your work is also helpful. And, always have business cards handy! Some people think they’re extinct, but I promise you, there will be times where they pay off. You never know who you’re going to meet!

Q.

It looks like you’ve learnt a great deal about yourself and your field through your career so far, what one piece of advice would you liked to have given yourself, say, 5 years ago? And, conversely, where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

A.

I would have told myself that it was possible to work at an ad agency and that it wasn’t a pipe dream to run my own business full time. And, I definitely would have gotten started on my personal blog much sooner. It’s so easy now to look back and see things differently, but the reality is, life happens and we tend to just do the best we can at any particular time without knowing if the outcome is going to be what we hoped for.

And, five years from now… wow, that is a long time away! Five years ago, I hadn’t gone to school for design yet. I was finishing my business degree and had just returned home from a two month stay in New York. I hadn’t done my first solo art show yet. I was working at a shoe store and living with four boy roommates. My life was completely different! So, five years from now, I’m not exactly sure what I will be doing. I hope to be working at a fashion magazine (Elle!) in New York, working as an art director at an agency or running an agency with my brother. Though, he loves working at Nike, so he might be too cool to spend his days with me! I also want to write a how-to guide about marketing for designers and do workshops on what it takes to be a freelancer and how to build a portfolio. Oh, and I want to travel a lot. I guess I have a vague idea then…but life is meant to be lived. Setting anything in stone feels too rigid – I am just soaking up new experiences, trying to stay in the present and enjoying my life right now.

what i wore nubby twiglet pantone notebook design

Q.

You seem to have done things totally your own way, do you consider yourself Miseducated? If so, what makes you Miseducated and what final advice would you give to readers embarking on their own Miseducated careers?

A.

Since Miseducated is about embracing a unique, unconventional existence, I would say yes! Though I tend to make plans, set goals and keep a schedule, beyond that, I try to live the best life possible and to do things my way. You’re only going to live once so it’s important to stay true to your values and ethics – at the end of the day, you have to answer to YOU. That’s it. Do what makes you happy. When I was younger, I tried to fit into ideals, to do what I thought would make me happy by society’s standards. I quickly realized that wearing corporate casual attire, working at a mainstream office and living in the suburbs was not for me. I went to school for business because it seemed more practical. But, I wasn’t fulfilled so I went back for a design degree. Visualize what you want out of life, big or small and work hard. Stay focused. It’s never supposed to be easy. The things that you do that feel impossible and test your will do add character. If people tell you that something can’t be done, work even harder to prove them wrong. It’s up to you to create the life that you want.

Stamped with Mental Illness

It’s not something people often come out in the open with. In school it gives kids another reason to make fun of you, it doesn’t matter if you act strangely or not — the label is all it takes. The stigma that follows mental illness is many times much more harmful than the actual illness. Don’t let society decide how you should feel about your own mental health or anyone elses.

“Mental illness itself occurs from the interaction of multiple genes and other factors –such as stress, abuse, or a traumatic event — which can influence, or trigger, an illness in a person who has an inherited susceptibility to it.” – Web M.D. Worried about having kids? They may inherit a susceptibility to the mental illness but it’s really the environment and emotional factors that ensure having it. I’ve only been the child, never the parent. I know many mothers read this and it might be questionable whether I am child friendly due to the topics on this website. This website is not child friendly but when in the presence of children, I censor my discussions as anyone would.

I think it’s safe to assume that parenting is on of the hardest jobs on the earth. Having never been a parent but knowing many and seeing how their lives revolve around another human’s care, I cannot imagine the stress. It’s very easy to treat your children like they’re adults, to forget to censor. To assume they can do what you can do, understand what you can understand, hear what you can hear.. It’s naive. It creates trauma. I’ve met a lot of people who say negative things about others who obviously have some underlying issues, i.e. “She had great parents but she turned out to be a real asshole — selling drugs, breaking into houses.” In reality we have no idea what genes this person has inherited, if they’ve dealt with a traumatic experience in their life or really anything about their home life behind doors. Instead of assuming children will mature into what they will become no matter how great of a parent one may be, let’s assume they wont and prevent it. Things which appear like normal situations to adults can be very traumatic experiences for children.. experiences they remember into adulthood. I want the world to understand that everything matters, especially how you treat others. Especially how you treat others when their minds are developing.

Stay Gold Forever: Lessons in Business and the State of Being

gold

When I was about fifteen, my father had this great idea that would turn me into the business prodigy that he had so desperately wanted me to be: To start a record label. I was very involved in music, and he had figured that it would have been perfect. I spent months reading business books and books specifically about one starting a record label, only to quit the project and head into an entirely new direction (one of the best descisions I have ever made in my entire life) months later.
Nonetheless, here are some things that I had learned whilst trying to get this independent music empire up and running, and I believe sincerely that these lessons can be applied to life in general and have a positive effect.

That’s My Story, and I’m Sticking To It

When I tell people how something happened (ex. How did you and your boyfriend meet? Is an easy example) , I want to feel good about it. I don’t want to have to feel like I have to paint a different picture to get the approval of who I’m telling, there shouldn’t be a detail to hide. You have to live a story that you’ll be proud to tell in the future.

Don’t Lose Yourself

It’s human nature. When you factor things down to their purest form, the only thing you really have, to hold on to forever and no one can ever take it, is what you think about yourself. Who you know yourself to be. And you must maintain your sense of yourself at all costs. Because your self-image is always going to be what you base your descisions off of, and if you compromise that, you’ve lost.

At the end of the day, don’t only ask:
How much money did I make?
How much work did I get done?
but also ask yourself:
What did I get out of it?
because in everything you do, there’s an image of yourself and the feeling associated with what you’re trying to achieve.

Avoid the Trap

Define who you know yourself to be.
Define who it is that you would like to be.
And define what it is you wish to be known for.

Those three things are your own personal rules of thumb. And it’s rather difficult, but beneficial, not to contradict them.

I do sincerely feel that by applying these little bits of knowledge to your life, you’ll come to a full understanding of why you want to do what you want to do, and therefore take a huge step forward on your everlasting journey to self discovery.