His & Hers: Fall Creek Trail Indianapolis

his and hers

So my love and I really enjoy riding our bicycles around Indianapolis and even more so on the new Fall Creek Trail as well as the Monon Trail and Cultural Trail downtown. Indianapolis has a lot of gorgeous places to ride a bicycle. The thing I love most about our city is although patches of forest and natural gorgeousness are only a short distance away, we also have events, restaurants, shops and wonderful communities of awesome people like any other good city. We live just north of downtown Indianapolis and we love all of the amazing changes they are making for us citizens. David found this secluded area while we were riding and it was a wonderful little secret to share with him. I love our adventures and immensely enjoy bringing you along. 😉 xox

Destination-Fall-Creek-logo

What is Fall Creek Trail?

A classic parkway – winding road, wide forested corridor – is home to the original Fall Creek Trail. Because the trail’s alignment follows the historic George Kessler Boulevard Plan, it parallels the waterway, passing beautiful, century-old bridges and established neighborhoods. It is a quiet pathway, often brushing against the creek. The Fall Creek Trail is Indy’s vintage greenway and will eventually connect downtown Indianapolis with northeast Marion County.

More Fall Creek Trail Info

Sweet Ways to Make Your Guy Smile

This is one of those drafts that got lost in the shuffle for a few years and I’m finally inspired to write it because it’s actually very sweet. There are more posts of this series coming that many of you will be excited about including a rerelease of ‘Ways to Make Your Best Friend Smile’ which in some ways will seem a tad bit redundant seeing as how your guy is probably also your best friend but generally it’s a much different kind of relationship that I’m referring to.

Valentine’s Day was very recent but that doesn’t mean you have to stop doing sweet things for the one you love or limit it to one silly day a year. This is a list of some of the ways I’ve learned to make my significant other feel better through experiencing life together… Obviously there is always a right time to do things as well as a wrong time and chances are you know when that is since he’s your guy and all. If you don’t, try to pick up on body language and tone from him.

1. Keep your shared space tidy and organized. If he is a slob, do a little extra work or occasionally remind him of his shared chores (but do not nag and do not complain if you choose to do them instead). I always feel like an old school Sim with a full “Room” scale when my house is clean so I assume it makes others feel good as well. A clean and cute home is a happy, inspiring home.

2. Take time out of your day to take care of yourself, fix your hair, paint your nails, shave your legs and put on a cute outfit. Pampering yourself will not only give you a smile and help you feel confident but it will also show your guy that it means a lot to you to look nice for him. Don’t just fancy up when you’re going out on the town but also when you’re staying in together. It will make him feel special that you’re looking nice just for him.

3. Remind him what he does for you and how it makes you feel inside. Tell him about the things you really love that he does each and everyday and the special things he does on rare occasions. Encourage your man to treat you like a princess by reminding him what things he does that make you feel really good.

4. Pamper him on special days. After he gets home from a long day of work or from a night out with the guys have the house tidy and dinner or dessert on the table for you to share by candle light. Sometimes I love to make fondue or a fruit tarte (recipe coming soon!) that we both really love to indulge in. It’s even nice to sit and have the dessert you made with love in your heart while you catch up on a favorite show or watch a movie you’re both interested in.

5. Prepare HIM a decadent bubble bath. I realize it’s not an exceptionally manly thing to take a bubble bath but I’ve found that occasionally it’s also nice for him to relax in the bath while you pamper him. Put in some bubble bath, a bath bomb, bath salts or some drops of essential oil, light some candles or incense (or both!) and bring him a nice, hot cup of green tea and keep him company if he’d like. Ask him about his day and offer to wash his back or massage his feet. These are not only things for men to do to their women, you can also show him you appreciate everything he does for you by pampering him as well.

Cute Date Ideas

1. Attend a local art show. Look up dates and times on your cities website. Many art shows also offer horderves and drinks while you both enjoy looking at the works and discussing them with each other.

2. Pack a cute picnic for two and head off to a park nearby, a secluded spot in the woods or a lovely beach overlooking the water to indulge in some tasty food you’ve prepared and each other. Bring along a camera for extra fun!

3. Plan a game night with our without the children. Play an old favorite together or invite your favorite double date couple. Prepare some easy snacks and drinks and enjoy each other’s company, laughter and some friendly competition.

4. On the next clear night pack a cozy blanket and find a secluded spot away from the city to romantically gaze at the stars together. Pack a light picnic also if you’d like.

5. Don’t feel like splurging on a date at the movie theater? Why don’t you both stay at home, snuggle on the couch and watch one of your favorite films together? Take turns picking the movie and you’ll learn more about each other by which movies you enjoy.

What are some of your favorite ways to make your guy feel special?

Develop Great Mate-dar!

You’re single and want to meet that someone special NOW! Especially since we are on the cusp of the holidays, right? So naturally your Mate-dar (your ability to suss out a great mate) is turned up a notch. Or so you think. Truth is, Mate-dar is only as good as its end user.

So, whatever the reason, you’re on the prowl for a significant other. Maybe you feel you’re ready for a commitment. Maybe you’re looking for companionship. So you feel like your “Mate-dar” (your ability to suss out a great mate) is in full force, turned up top notch. But the truth is – even if you have the purest of intentions for seeking out a relationship – nobody’s Mate-dar is perfect.
The problem—or, should I say, one of the many challenges— with being human is knowing the difference between who we are and who we are not. Making the all-important distinction between our unconscious persona and our authentic, healthy, whole selves. Until we have addressed this process it is likely that our wounded little kid has a hold of an adult tool, waving it around like a toy, and then BANG! somebody gets hurt. Our Mate-dar, when operated by our 5-year-old wound, can get us into a lot of trouble—as would any part of ourselves we have not made peace with, healed or become aware of on some level.

In the case of seeking a great partner, when we are seeing through the eyes of a wound we are less likely to see clearly! This can show up in different ways (boy, can they be tricky, slippery and subtle all at once), most of them falling under the guise of denial or rationalization.

Here’s a great story to illustrate how elusive accessing our very own truth can be.
My husband, David, got on the scale this morning. I could hear the clang and distinct argh. “How can that be? I gained four pounds? I have only been eating lettuce all week, for crying out loud.” I tried to comfort him by saying that muscle weighs more than fat, and then burst out laughing, realizing that’s what I told myself last time I got on the scale. After we lavished one and another with a few more excuses, we decided that the scale was broken and we needed to get a new one. One that told us what we wanted to hear! That we were not fat!

I have learned it’s one thing to sit around and bitch and moan wishing things were different, and another to do something about it. So I went for a run, then later we went to get the scale. Apparently doing a little of both.

pretty in pink

“It’s never a good idea to weigh yourself late in the day, sweetie” I reminded him as he stepped off the fancy glass scale in Bed Bath and Beyond, that seconds before had held such promise. “Yeah, but this one says I weigh even more than the one at home—did I gain four more pounds since we left?” I wasn’t laughing, as I was about to climb on. Mind you, I don’t make it a habit to get on scales—I know all too well they are not my friends, because I almost never feel better about myself as a result! How bad could it be? I thought. I run and eat well and anyway I would know if I… “What the…? A hundred and…? Wow, I don’t know what to say, except …that scale can’t be right!” I leapt off like it was a bed of hot coals.

“Oh, look, here’s one that tells you how much muscle versus fat you have, and it will show us how much water we are retaining! Let’s try it. You go first!” I said. David placed the Ferrari version of a scale on the floor, took his flip-flops off again and stepped on. “Uh oh…uhhhh… Wait, try that one, that’s just a regular old scale,” and quickly pointed to another. He put the Ferrari one back, put the next one on the floor and hopped on. We both waited as it calculated. “Well, this one says the same thing as the one at home does,” he shrugged. ‘Which means—uh…we’re fat, right?” We both laughed, let it sink in for a minute, and then decided that since we were ready to admit the truth, that we weighed more than we wanted to, we might as well buy the really cool one that told us in great detail all about it.

What the heck does this have to do with relationships? That’s a very good question, and if you answered “Everything!” you are definitely smarter than the average bear!

Pay attention, ‘cause this is some heavy. It doesn’t get any more real than this kind of reality. A huge contributor, if not a top ten reason so many of us don’t have a GREAT relationship, is—we don’t tell ourselves (or others) the truth. It’s an exact proportion, as a matter of fact! Think about it. Let’s say I asked you right now to write down your name, how much you weigh, how much you make a year, the color of your eyes, hair, your shoe size, how tall you are, where you live. Nine out of ten of you would lie about at least half. The rest of you would at least exaggerate or minimize. Don’t believe me, go grab the next person you see and tell them how much you really weigh. How tall you are, to the centimeter. What color your hair really is. How old you actually are. Go down the list; if you are honest with yourself, you will see how often we lie about the most mundane things. Why? Because of what we make it mean:

I weigh X = I am fat = no one will want/love me
I am X years old = I am too old = no one will love me
I am five feet X = too short (or tall) = no one wants that = no one will want me
My real hair color is X = I am unattractive = no one will love me
I make X amount of money = I am poor = no one will want to be with me/love me

So we do what my husband and I tried to do. We slip right into the old river called Denial. We begin with some simple rationalizations, adding or taking away a zero here and there. What harm can it do? we think, Who cares? If I don’t care, why should anyone else? Well, that’s the problem. You do care, or you wouldn’t bother lying—especially to yourself!

You can see how easy it is to miss cues, red flags and warnings or signs from another person that they really aren’t interested. Our agenda for love can be so strong, our wound-ology so ingrained, that it actually distorts reality! Here are some recommendations to help develop or adjust our Mate-dar.

One of my favorites is to interview people who have the kind of relationship you want. If you can’t interview, at least pay attention and jot down some features that stand out for you!

Date yourself seriously. Yes, seriously…date yourself. Make a date, get ready for it, pick the place you want yourself to take yourself, the whole nine, and do it. How do you like your own company, what do you notice about yourself?
Interview yourself. Yeah, why not? Who are you? What do you want out of life? What’s your five-year plan, what is your relationship history? Ask yourself all the questions you would ask of another, and see how you react or what comes up for you.

Have a few practice dates with real people to see how well your intuition is working. Yes, a date where you actually try and work on your weakness. Maybe you even ask the person for feedback about you and see how your perceptions compare. Could be very enlightening, if you have the courage!

Look, if you don’t take care to do these things, or things like this, for yourself, why would you expect anyone else to? Awakening to consciousness is not for lightweights—it’s hard work, and you got want the good stuff! Like I always say, great relationships begin within. Don’t kid yourself!