My Soul Mate Asked Me to Marry Him

This past weekend on June 13, 2015 (Saturday) the man of my dreams, my soul mate, someone I’ve been through hell and heaven with, and every fantasy I’ve ever had, asked me to marry him. To spend my life with him. To give him the opportunity to love and heal and grow with me forever. I can’t imagine a better gift from God and the universe than he. My Colette and my fiance, I feel so blessed. I’ve been floating on a sort of love I can’t come down from. I feel like my love meter has been raised and I can’t get enough. He’s the only person I’ve known (besides my daughter) that I can’t be angry at for longer than a few seconds. It’s just not worth it to be separate!

part1

First we packed a picnic and he took me kayaking — we have a two-person kayak and I love going because we always find animals swimming around (otters and beavers!) and we dock and explore the forest a bit (I’ve always adored the forest). We live right near Fall Creek which is lovely, it goes through the woods and you never know what you’ll find. We went further back to drop our boat in than we had before and it started RAINING HARD as soon as we got in the water. Luckily it was right beside a bridge so we rowed under it and maybe 5 minutes later the sun came out so off we went. I’m sure there were rainbows but I could only see the trees canopying over the creek. David said we had reservations that night so we needed to get home to get dressed up. Eeek! It was taking longer than expected to get near home. We had to call an uber car to give us a ride to our van so we could pick up the boat and everything happened so smoothly I was just in a daze.

part2

We both got ready, took a quick rest and then David drove us downtown where we arrived at a lovely horse drawn carriage. I always wanted to ride one of those around the city. The horse was so cute! We got to pet her and she had painted, pastel, sparkly feet for the Pride Parade that day and had big flowers in her hair. Inside the carriage was a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates from this tasty chocolate cafe on the circle. The horse took us on a tour around the city, even cute vintage-looking parts I hadn’t seen before. I loved it. It was so wonderful and I’ll never forget it.

part3

Then we went to sit beside the fountain and share chocolates after the carriage ride was over. David was asking me about my plans for the next 5 years and things that were important for me to accomplish.. I was really loving our date night and feeling so close. He said he had something in his briefcase and he kneeled down on the steps and I just started crying. He told me everything I’ve ever dreamed someone would say to me since I was a young girl watching cheesy 90s teen romance movies hoping things like that really happened. He promised to always love me and always work towards being a better man and doing any healing and work for us to be a better us. He told me so many things I never thought anyone could even verbalize that were just music to my heart. He asked if I would marry him and I said yes while the tears rolled down my cheeks. He then handed me a letter he wrote to me conveying everything he just said in a personal format I could keep. I’ve never felt so loved and cherished in my entire life.

I have known since we met 9 years ago he was very special and I loved being around him. We both felt a connection and knew we should stay in touch even through we were both in different stages in life. Since we started dating 3 years ago I knew he was the one, getting to know him more deeply has felt like remembering someone my heart already knew. I just didn’t imagine everything would happen as it did over all those years but we got through hell together and have arrived at this wonderful place where we can just enjoy life and love. I’m so grateful. I feel so honored that this is the man for me.

part4

After this he said we STILL weren’t done with our date night so we went on a little evening walk and arrived to Indy’s little treasure St. Elmo Steakhouse (world’s best shrimp cocktail) to have an amazingly rich dinner and more flowers waiting for me there. He said he planned to propose there but thought it would be more special at a public place we can visit and associate that special moment with it. All of the waiters knew of course so they all stopped by to congratulate us. He said he tried to incorporate most of the parts of our lives into this day and hoped it was special.. meanwhile.. I’m still just in shock.

st elmo steakhouse

We walked home hand in hand under the street lights and on sidewalks aglow with rainbow glitter from the pride parade just that morning while every passerby donning rainbow beads (I wanted some!) yelled, “Congratulations” as though they knew what cloud I was floating on. I was carrying so many flowers I’m sure I looked as though I’d won an award or been the lead on a broadway musical. I still float on that pink cloud throughout the days and even when I’m stressed or sad I think of this special day and know that I did succeed in finding my soul mate, completing our family and being filled with joy we’re devoted to spending the rest of our lives together.

Get in Full Sync With Your Love

Too often to count relationships encounter a trip in the circuit, and things go awry. After the relationship gets a few years under it’s belt, it can be easy to let things fall in a style of communication, that at the moment feels comfortable, but not always for the best of the relationship. Lack of proper communication and lead to partners feeling unheard or often taken for granted, and even overwhelmed.

Last year I gave birth to two wonderful fraternal twin boys, and as you can imagine my life is not quite the same. My husband has been amazing through this transition, however we have been trying to adjust to still having our mojo that made us the self-proclaimed perfect mates for each other. Here are some tips that might help you encounter your relationship from other angles, and be overall more generous and open when talking to your lovebird.

lovebird

Make your lovebird someone you really trust and confide in. Many of us turn to others such as family, friends, and work friends for support & advice, because they are around us the most during the day. Don’t leave your lovebird in the dark, he or she should know what is going on in your life, and how it is that you truly feel.

Treat your lovebird with the same respect that you do your best friend. Too often we tend to overlook our friends faults, even if they drive us crazy. We know that no matter what we need to be there and not judge them, and be the support system they need. Doesn’t our lovebird deserve the same?

Remember that you and your lovebird are not the same person, and do not always have the same views on everything. Sometimes it’s hard to be the adult and recognize this, however embrace the differences and help your lovebird be the absolute best that they can be. Trying to edit someone to your desire, or quash his or her ideas is doleful affair that helps no one in the end.

When things get heated remember that your lovebird is often acting in what they think is best and are good intentions, trust in them and remain calm and open.

Recognize that when in conflict much our resentments, and defensiveness comes from out own insecurities rather then something that is wrong with our lovebird. Breathe and take a mental step back for a minute think before you speak, before things escalate to a level that no one wants to be in. If a break is need go for a walk and regroup with the best intentions for you both or the situation

After the conflict has occurred come back to them and acknowledge what has occurred. Though apologies aren’t always required, but a moment of kindness and a mutual agreement to move on without resentment is best.

Accept that life is a series of phases and life passes you by much too quickly. The relationship changes like everything else, and although it’s not the butterflies in your tummy and sweaty palms like it was in the early days. You can let it evolve into a fantastic intimate love that young lovers dream of.