Miseducated TV: New Years Eve – New Vlogs Every Thursday

his and hers

So this year for New Years Eve we went to a lovely party in downtown Indianapolis with an art collector that bought a lot of David’s paintings at a gallery recently filled with delicious Mediterranean food, handmade, glittery chocolates and lots of chatter. It was glorious! She, Emily, had just adopted a new Siberian kitten for her adult male Siberian cat and they were so gorgeous. Then we walked through hour freezing city (Indianapolis was SO COLD on this night!) to our car and had our own chat at home prior to making peanut butter fudge, having sparkling cider and snuggling up to watch documentaries with Bacon (puppy) and Calvin (cat). Every year we’ve spent together we have made sure to have our own little discussion about the former year and our plans for improving ourselves next year. We also have a private discussion about our relationship and how grateful we are to have the life together that we have. Every single year I feel luckier. The more things we get through together causes both of us to be the more open-hearted, close and connected.

As you know I love making collages with photos, videos and the like. This is what I’m enjoying most with making the vlogs. It’s like a new format of my collage-obsessed, mixed-media creativity process. I hope it reads ok! This is a quick video collage of New Years Eve and our New Years Resolutions as well as what we plan not to do. I really love the idea of not only putting a list of goals you’ll accomplish but also things you will refrain from doing. I think it’s great to think about these in both ways just to get a good idea of your goals for yourself.

I’ve also decided THURSDAY will be my vlog or new video upload day so I’m not doing 3 a week or none a week. Since I’m new to Youtube vlogging I’d like to be on a schedule from now on. This also means I’ll plan to post the videos here every Thursday regardless if it’s just a video or an article related to the video or both as well as the other usual kinds of posts about whimsical lifestyle inspiration that you find at Miseducated.

Crafting New Years Resolutions That Stick

It’s that time again for all of the glitziest, most sparkling parties to dust our city with their crystalline love for the passing of time and in celebration of the New Year! This coming year happens to look very exciting for me for several reasons. One because 13 is my lucky number, somehow I always get dealt 13 whether it’s my locker or another random number. Another because 2012 was one of the absolute worst years of my life, actually it WAS the worst year of my life hands down for reasons those close to me know and that I will discuss further in the future. And lastly because the end of 2012 has been surprising me with the absolute best gifts I could ever imagine receiving. Not only is the future glistening brightly in my eyes but I’m really excited to start the New Year with the new love of my life.

So what better way to start this New Year than with 10 grand resolutions to bring even more health and happiness into my life? Why don’t you join me and craft a few of your own to share? Together we might even inspire even others to start their own resolutions and to actually hold themselves accountable for them! I know I will because I’ve gotten much more disciplined this year. There’s nothing like losing everything to bring what’s really important (health, love and happiness) to the surface!

As you probably know New Years resolutions are quick to become a subject of the past. They fade away as the days of the New Year linger on and new opportunities occur. The most common reason we forget about our resolutions or leave them behind is due to the unrealistic goals we have set for ourselves in anticipation of quick changes.

Tips for Succeeding

  • 1. Keep your resolutions realistic and achievable.
  • 2. Share them with a friend not for accountability but for encouragement.
  • 3. Focus on changes you’ve been planning to make for awhile.

“John Norcross of the University of Scranton concluded that 75% of resolution-makers will be successful in mid-January, 50% will still be sticking to it by the end of the month and 40%-46% can claim success six months out.” – USA TODAY

My Resolutions for 2013

  • 1. To have my *gulp* divorce finalized and custody agreed upon.
  • 2. To publish one or more of my books I’ve been endlessly putting off.
  • 3. To blog at least twice a week, publish articles/interviews that have been waiting and put much more effort into Miseducated now that my life is whole.
  • 4. To continue to grow more serious in my beautiful relationship.
  • 5. To organize and spring clean our entire home.
  • 6. To produce more work for myself, collaborations and for clients.
  • 7. To lose 5-10 pounds, eat healthier and exercise more.
  • 8. To grow even more spiritual and study religion further.
  • 9. To list the new items I’ve been dutifully creating for the shop.
  • 10. To obtain a larger vehicle (kid count grew from 1 to 4 this past year!).

What are yours?

How to Prepare for the Holidays

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Like Ram Das says: You want to see how together you are, go spend some time with your family! This sentiment is particularly apt during the holidays, when emotions run high and painful memories are easily triggered. Especially if this holiday things are different than you would like them to be: i.e. you’re single (again), newly divorced, bringing someone home your family can’t stand, or maybe you simply dread the same old story your family dynamics dose on when you get together.

Here are a few tips that can help you face whatever may come with more confidence and grace than you’d imagined…

Embrace “what is”~ This is the quick way to holiday enlightenment! The sooner you accept people and things the way they are and not the way you want them to be, the more likely you are to experience some real joy! While this is no easy pill to swallow when you are feeling lonely, rejected, or not up for going a few rounds with your family, this truth will set you free. Try it; it’s the perfect gift to give this season.

Right-size your expectations~ If you’re aren’t quite ready to accept things the way they are, your next best bet is to curtail your expectations some. Try this (always works for me). Find someone less fortunate than yourself and do something wonderful for them. It’s a sure way to get an additional perspective. Sometimes we can get so righteous or stuck in our story we don’t leave any room for something different or magical to happen. The spirit of giving will soften your grinchy glare and open your heart up. ‘Tis the season to cut some slack. Plenty of time for therapy and analyzing everything and everyone come the new year!

Walk a mile in their shoes~ Refuse to participate in certain members of your family’s antics, or can’t possibly stomach your ex flaunting his “new and improved you” all over tinsel town when you’re still obscenely alone? Try a shot of compassion. While this is not easy, especially for novices (‘cause you have to actually care enough to take a moment and walk a mile in their shoes), in most cases it helps us take the edge off. Understanding that being human is complicated, and that we are all frightened and fragile whether we show it or not, helps ease the burden of needing everyone (including ourselves) to be perfect.

Stage fright~ Are you the type that thinks of the right thing to say or do after the fact? Like, you think of what you should have said, but freeze up and blank out and end up a mess? Then you need to rehearse your lines! Doesn’t matter who you are, when we are upset we don’t think clearly. No matter what awaits you, try and do a dress rehearsal so you can be prepared for anything. Write it down and carry it with you so you don’t get blindsided. And practice all the way there, and maybe even the day before if you have to. “No, Uncle Bart, I am not drinking right now. Thank you.” or “That’s lovely; I wish you both every happiness!” or “Congratulations on your new part in the upcoming porn film, I am sure you’ll be a great success.”

Let the train go down the track~ Need to make an appearance because it’s the right thing to do and aren’t interested in feeling, dealing or healing, or even saying the right thing right now (you know what they did, they know what they did, period)? I always say, when there’s a train coming down the track, get out of the way. Take a few deep breaths, count to ten, get something to eat, help in the kitchen, make call to someone who can help calm you down; and if that doesn’t work, excuse yourself, go straight to the bathroom, and re-group. Before you say or do something you will regret, remind yourself like a mantra, “Why should you always take the high road? Because that’s the kind of person you are.” Otherwise, leave town and send a Christmas card.

Have a pity party~ Speaking of leaving town: you might be fed up, feel the urge to fall apart, say the wrong thing, make a scene, behave badly, act inappropriately for the first time in your life, storm off and leave, or just stay in bed and wait for January. I say, let yourself have it. Maybe what you need is a little pity party. Go for it. Pick a start time and an end time and go for it. Maybe letting yourself feel what you’ve been stuffing is in order. Maybe you need to attend to some of what’s bottled up before it causes more damage to you or anyone else. Heck, you could invite some friends and just have a big negative merge! Who knows, it may be just what the doctor ordered.

Do overs~ If I feel like I can’t pull it together, or am unable to say something tactfully or gracefully, am intolerant, or simply full of crap and can’t get out of my own way, I ask for a “do over.” I attempt the right behavior, but if I can’t get it right, I will say something like “That didn’t come out right, I am so sorry, can we try that again?” Or “Maybe it’s better if we talk about this another time.” Then there’s always Plan B. I leave and try again next year… Give yourself permission to do what you have to do to take care of yourself!!

Bottom line: during the holidays, there is no more pain to be felt than at any other time of year. According to John James’ “Grief Recovery Handbook,” this is a fact. There are simply many visible associations with painful memories that keep us trapped in our habitual thinking. If we can remember that we are all connected, that most of us are doing the best we can, and that most of the pain and suffering we experience is a projection, we are less likely to take things personally and more prone to create connection rather than greater separation!

Avoid a mystical hangover this holiday season – watch Maryanne’s advice from author Roger Housden: