Sanrio Small Gift Big Smile LA VIP Party

What are the two most amazing obsessions of mine that were combined perfectly for the Sanrio anniversary events this year? Sanrio characters (duh) at the CARNIVAL. Can you imagine it? It was like a little taste of Harmonyland right here in the states! It was curated by BUBBLEPUNCH and Japan L.A. for Sanrio’s 50th Anniversary POP-UP Tour.

beam me up

Celebrities in attendance that I saw exploring the Sanrio carnival alongside us were Bridget (Girls Next Door), Tarina Tarantino, Justin Beiber (lol) and HELLO KITTY MAMA. All of your favorite contemporary artists were in attendance as well and so were their Sanrio-inspired masterpieces. Actually there were a lot more wonderful people in attendance but I was so out of it this night that I didn’t get to take everything in as I would have liked to.

Thanks for the photos, LAWEEKLY and Huffington Post.

Upon walking around and eyeing the food trucks (it’s an LA thing) we walked around the carnival and I ran into some more of my sweet online friends Maria of Locketship, Stephanie or Twinkiechan, Yume Ninja and Chubby Bunny. I sadly missed Shrinkle because I left early — we’d planned to meet up again but everything was just too crazy! The pop-up shop had me running around like a maniac, drooling all over the limited goods that you can’t even get in Japan.. it really brought me back to Puroland a teeny, tiny bit!

the sanrio carnival

I got to meet so many of you that I was overwhelmed with happiness and so sad I didn’t take more photo ops! I actually didn’t take ANY… which means I have to wait for the girls to upload their photos before you can even see what I wore, LOL. Oops. I felt like a total failure flaking out at the VIP Event but I was in SO MUCH PAIN you can’t imagine. I couldn’t enjoy myself so I tried to meet all of the friends I could and run around spotting all of the adorable décor.

I also met some of my absolute sweetest friends and co-workers which was the main reason I had decided to go. Hihi Caro whom I work with in design for SWEET STREETS is one of my absolute new favorite people. There are so many genuinely nice people in this world, and there are ALWAYS new friends to meet. (You can never have too many friends! – Hello Kitty) It’s so refreshing to find such positive, motivated and inspired girls to share my love of cuteness with.

The always adorable and sweet Audrey Kitching and I met up for a short time, she had the flu and since I’m only here for the weekend our craft trip was cut way short. After whining to each other about the inconvenience of our schedules this weekend she gave me a present filled with Tokyolux goodies from the new line we worked on and we hugged in relief to finally be together after everything we have been going through side by side.

strawberry king spotted

I would have to say the night was a complete success although I still regret not getting a red carpet photo with adorable Maria due to my anxiety and rushing around.. and I never have regrets! Maria is a really sweet girl and her jewelry (Locketship!) is as sweet as she is.

After I could no longer stand it I got a cab home alone and proceeded to experience the most horrifying night of my life (ha!). If I told you.. (which I will in another article) and you probably wouldn’t even believe me. One of those nights where everything that could go wrong went horribly wrong. I was so frazzled by the end of the night that I immediately passed out on Kimi’s (Kimikat of Rainbowlicious) couch with her cat Pekoe curled up next to my feet.

audygift

The Night My Anxiety Consumed Me

MLPYou can't make everyone happy.

One of my new year resolutions (and I’m starting now) is to be more open and raw.
I, much like yourself, want to achieve psychological happiness and in doing that I am starting another new year resolution.
I am finally going to the psychiatrist to deal with all the things I have never dealt with.
I want to make sure I’m much more sane before Colette is a toddler and knows what’s going on!
I have anxiety and depression but I’ve been ordered to the psychiatrist for the zillionth time to get diagnosed and treated..
.. and I’m finally doing it.

Kitty Car

My dreams have come true. I have made it to cute central, USA to meet so
many of my long-time internet acquaintances kept and lost through the years.

I was feeling fine all day.. chugging coffee to stay awake, made it through airport security with no nonsense (for the first time!).
Now I’m finally ready, finally here waiting outside with a bunch of excited and adorable girls.

I can hardly breathe.
Wait! I’m missing Colette.
Why did I come here?

I can feel it.. my anxiety taking over.
I need a drink.
I need to just start talking to someone and forget about it.

I do not realize that I have actually forgotten to take my Prozac all day.

I converse with the sweet and talented people I am lucky enough to be graced with (I was with Stephie and was so happy to see the sweetest of the sweet Audrey, Miss Kika, Cicely, a long-time web friend, Twinkiechan, and sweet as ever Maria of Locketship) and my anxiety begins to consume me.

I cannot be side-tracked.

It does not occur to me why this is all happening because sometimes I have panic attacks.

After beginning to get sick and unable to get my shit together I have to excuse myself.
I have to take a cab back to LA.
I can’t stay another minute.

I arrive at a friend’s apartment, I change out of my outfit, I leave.
Kimi is picking me up and she’s here.. somewhere.
I walk outside and she can’t find me. The street is split.

I go back inside to look at the directions and try to explain.
She can’t find me.
Why wont my brain work?
I keep having panic attacks and I finally tell her I’ll just leave and walk
until I see a busy street.
So off I go, suitcase and suitcase-sized purse in tow.

I need to leave the key in case I get lost..
I don’t know this area and there are no street lights.
I drop it in an orange cone as I leave after making sure no one was around.

I walk all over and around, not familiar with the area.
More darkness. More houses.
My phone is dead and I cannot even reach Kimi anymore.

I walk back to the apartment and try to get the key because I’m starting to
get really upset and worried.
I cannot reach it. Under the cone was a metal pipe and the key has fallen down it.
You have got to be kidding me.
I make the worst decisions in this state of mind.

I start crying and getting sick.
Why can’t I keep it together?
How am I going to get ahold of Kimi?

I see a man on the sidewalk.
His eyes are shrouded by a large, black top hat that sits on top of his long, black hair.
“Did you call for a cab?” , I ask pleadingly.
He looks me up and down and tells me that I do not belong here.
With my suitcase and large purse I stick out like a sore thumbnail.
I beg the cab driver to let me ride with them to their destination and then take me to mine.
He says no.
I can see in his eyes that he’s not prepared to deal with a crazy girl and her suitcases.

I stand back, understanding and proceed to go back up the sidewalk.
He tells me to wait.. get in.

On the way to the mad hatter’s destination he tells me all about why I
should go with him to Rainbow Bar & Grill.
How it’s probably the safest place for me with a suitcase because a lady just got shot in front of it recently.
There will probably be lots of lights and news crews there.
I politely decline.
I’m already on the verge of having some kind of breakdown.

On the way to Rainbowland my phone finally turns on.
I have just enough battery to try to make a call.
I get through and Kimi tells me where to meet her.
Home Depot on Sunset Blvd.

Taxi driver takes me through all of the lights again on a trip that I am not mentally present for.
The lights blur beside me and I wonder if this is all going to end.

Finally we arrive at Home Depot and she’s no where to be seen.
There are sketchy characters running around in the sheds on display.
I ask if I can wait here and the cab driver tells me it isn’t safe.
Another panic attack comes on and I start crying.
She’s not here.. my phone is dead.. where is she?

I ask if he can take me to a gas station..
When we arrive I tear apart my suitcase in the back of his car.
Glitter and tulle fly everywhere.
Tarina Tarantino bags of jewels litter the floor.
I don’t even care. I’m not able to remain in tact. I cannot find my phone charger.
Surely I didn’t leave it in her apartment?
Did it fall out of my suitcase?
Polkadot heels fly out the window.

I tear everything I have apart.
I pour my purse out into the seat.
I do not even wince as my dead grandmother’s necklace falls to the ground.

I begin to give up.
I begin to get very overwhelmed and unable to focus.

I start to pack everything up and there, stuck in a mass of stockings, it is.
My phone charger.

I leave everything I have and run inside to ask if I can charge my phone.
After what seems like endless hours of trying to turn it back on with no avail it gets enough power to work.
I call Kimi.
She’s finally found the apartment.

I tell her to come back, to come to the Shell on Sunset Blvd.
She’s on her way.

I pack up my suitcase, pay the man the miniscule fee he asks for and thank him.
We’ve developed a bond by now and he asks me to take his number.
He’ll be around until 2am in case I don’t find my friend.
There are always more amazing people to be found.

I sit my suitcase near the counter, plop on it and wait.
I buy a water.
I suddenly realize I forgot to take my anxiety medication.
So that’s all it was.. it happens to all of us, right?
We can’t be embarrassed or ashamed.
We have to move on.. if anyone doesn’t like you for who you are then they don’t really like you.
If they cannot stand you at your worst then they do not deserve you at your best.

Kimi arrives and we talk about music, raves and cats the whole way home.
She plays electro and we ride into through the lights of LA on a feeling of peace and an unexplainable feeling of belonging.