My Soul Mate Asked Me to Marry Him

This past weekend on June 13, 2015 (Saturday) the man of my dreams, my soul mate, someone I’ve been through hell and heaven with, and every fantasy I’ve ever had, asked me to marry him. To spend my life with him. To give him the opportunity to love and heal and grow with me forever. I can’t imagine a better gift from God and the universe than he. My Colette and my fiance, I feel so blessed. I’ve been floating on a sort of love I can’t come down from. I feel like my love meter has been raised and I can’t get enough. He’s the only person I’ve known (besides my daughter) that I can’t be angry at for longer than a few seconds. It’s just not worth it to be separate!

part1

First we packed a picnic and he took me kayaking — we have a two-person kayak and I love going because we always find animals swimming around (otters and beavers!) and we dock and explore the forest a bit (I’ve always adored the forest). We live right near Fall Creek which is lovely, it goes through the woods and you never know what you’ll find. We went further back to drop our boat in than we had before and it started RAINING HARD as soon as we got in the water. Luckily it was right beside a bridge so we rowed under it and maybe 5 minutes later the sun came out so off we went. I’m sure there were rainbows but I could only see the trees canopying over the creek. David said we had reservations that night so we needed to get home to get dressed up. Eeek! It was taking longer than expected to get near home. We had to call an uber car to give us a ride to our van so we could pick up the boat and everything happened so smoothly I was just in a daze.

part2

We both got ready, took a quick rest and then David drove us downtown where we arrived at a lovely horse drawn carriage. I always wanted to ride one of those around the city. The horse was so cute! We got to pet her and she had painted, pastel, sparkly feet for the Pride Parade that day and had big flowers in her hair. Inside the carriage was a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates from this tasty chocolate cafe on the circle. The horse took us on a tour around the city, even cute vintage-looking parts I hadn’t seen before. I loved it. It was so wonderful and I’ll never forget it.

part3

Then we went to sit beside the fountain and share chocolates after the carriage ride was over. David was asking me about my plans for the next 5 years and things that were important for me to accomplish.. I was really loving our date night and feeling so close. He said he had something in his briefcase and he kneeled down on the steps and I just started crying. He told me everything I’ve ever dreamed someone would say to me since I was a young girl watching cheesy 90s teen romance movies hoping things like that really happened. He promised to always love me and always work towards being a better man and doing any healing and work for us to be a better us. He told me so many things I never thought anyone could even verbalize that were just music to my heart. He asked if I would marry him and I said yes while the tears rolled down my cheeks. He then handed me a letter he wrote to me conveying everything he just said in a personal format I could keep. I’ve never felt so loved and cherished in my entire life.

I have known since we met 9 years ago he was very special and I loved being around him. We both felt a connection and knew we should stay in touch even through we were both in different stages in life. Since we started dating 3 years ago I knew he was the one, getting to know him more deeply has felt like remembering someone my heart already knew. I just didn’t imagine everything would happen as it did over all those years but we got through hell together and have arrived at this wonderful place where we can just enjoy life and love. I’m so grateful. I feel so honored that this is the man for me.

part4

After this he said we STILL weren’t done with our date night so we went on a little evening walk and arrived to Indy’s little treasure St. Elmo Steakhouse (world’s best shrimp cocktail) to have an amazingly rich dinner and more flowers waiting for me there. He said he planned to propose there but thought it would be more special at a public place we can visit and associate that special moment with it. All of the waiters knew of course so they all stopped by to congratulate us. He said he tried to incorporate most of the parts of our lives into this day and hoped it was special.. meanwhile.. I’m still just in shock.

st elmo steakhouse

We walked home hand in hand under the street lights and on sidewalks aglow with rainbow glitter from the pride parade just that morning while every passerby donning rainbow beads (I wanted some!) yelled, “Congratulations” as though they knew what cloud I was floating on. I was carrying so many flowers I’m sure I looked as though I’d won an award or been the lead on a broadway musical. I still float on that pink cloud throughout the days and even when I’m stressed or sad I think of this special day and know that I did succeed in finding my soul mate, completing our family and being filled with joy we’re devoted to spending the rest of our lives together.

Amnesia: When You Forget Your Life and Love

eternalsunshine

I’ve been through a lot of things in the last 30 years, and yes, I know it sounds incredibly cliche and probably quite unlikely. I never ever thought some things would happen; others were completely normal to me and even more seemed like a movie or soap opera (completely unreal and strange). Every one of these things has changed me and made me who I am today, I am grateful I can speak about these things and live a healthy life both in spite and in honor of them.

Almost exactly a year ago one of my worst nightmares came true. I say worst nightmare about several key fears of mine and every single one of them has happened in some way. I’ve arrived at a place that I’m fearful to even have a worst nightmare anymore (so I don’t!). My furry companion (and life-long best buddy!) passed away at the age of 17 as I explained in Cats Are Good for Your Health and that was tough enough.. but next I came face to face with an even scarier experience. My soul mate had a major health scare (an isolated siezure) which was followed by severe amnesia for the following two days. I was strong, I kept positive. The kids really had no idea because I maintained that everything was completely fine and that dad was just feeling sick. I helped him feel safe even when he didn’t really know who I was. I took charge of his health and comforted him when he was confused, hurt or overwhelmed. They said his memory should come back within a few days if not the following weeks or months. They said it should come back but they didn’t know when because they’d never witnessed such a severe case. I just believed his memory would come back even when I didn’t understand why. I believed he would be ok and his brain would be healthy. I believed he would again remember me, our children, our home, our life. I knew he couldn’t have a tumor or serious condition. I practiced the law of attraction and stayed positive.

His memory gradually came back over the following days and the whole experience became an invaluable lesson for both of us in different ways, something we won’t soon forget. I got the experience of knowing that if the love of my life didn’t know me and got to decide if he would choose to do it all over again, he would. He told me in his severe amnesia that although he couldn’t remember who I was or our relationship he knew inside that I was his soul mate. He said he had this feeling inside that I was the only girl for him. He knew that he wanted to marry me and he knew my nickname when contemplating for a long time in the far parts of his brain (even though he kept calling me Farah Fawcett–the sex symbol when he was a kid). What was humorous was when he told me several times he didn’t know me but he’d like to get to (hah!) and felt shocked and modest when I helped him find the restroom and stepped inside.

For him, he felt grateful in an unreal way. He said he woke up into a life he couldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams and he hoped he could always remember how blessed he is even when he feels he is struggling. He saw all of the small and big things alike and how important each and every one of them are — how lucky many of us are but we forget because we’re so involved in our lives. When we came home he couldn’t believe this huge house was our home.. he couldn’t believe he lived here with me and loved seeing the photos of the wonderful times we shared. He DID remember Hobbes and he didn’t remember that he passed, so he got to mourn that several times over the days but he also got to know Calvin (as a kitten) all over again and felt grateful that this tiny feline wanted nothing more than to cuddle him.

We fell asleep that first night in each other’s arms when he still didn’t really know who I was and I felt incredibly grateful that no matter what he remembered I knew he was the only man for me.

To be continued…

davidandamber

I’ve Since Been Crowned by Flowers and Love

It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to update and felt free enough to explain a little of what has been going on in my life and all of the changes and struggles I have encountered. I felt very disappointed that my work and my blog fell to the wayside in the midst of this but my life was in dire need of most of my effort, the rest was given to love and support my little girl and my boyfriend (Mister Educated).

Although I can’t be too specific because it’s not appropriate and feels gross to put other’s private lives on a public blog, I can say the basics. My marriage fell apart in June. It had been falling apart for quite a while prior to that but it reached it’s breaking point in June. I’m not hurt about it anymore as I was when it happened, I’m thankful for the experiences I’ve had and most importantly for the beautiful little girl myself and my ex share. If you met her I have no doubt that you would instantly smile from ear to ear. She is the kind of special soul that leaves a positive imprint on everyone she meets and everywhere she goes. She’s always happy and saying something very clever for her age or something completely silly and comical. She reminds me so much of myself when I was little and enjoys playing with miniatures in her doll house with her Sylvania cream cats, love all animals, loves painting and loves to be outside. She can find fun in most situations and is a ball of cuteness and sweetness.

I also started talking to another very special person in mid-August. This is a person I had cherished having met and being a friend of mine. He taught me a lot of valuable skills and ways to see the world and I openly considered him a mentor. I met him in 2003 in college but remained friends with him after graduation via short occasional chats online about our families and work. We decided to hang out after we began talking again in August and the connection we had was still there but things had changed quite a lot. The connection was less of a friendship and inspiration connection and more of a romantic connection. The attraction was almost unbearable and we couldn’t get enough of just hanging out and talking or going to dinner and laughing, everything we did together was a very uplifting experience for both of us at the most painful time in my life. A month went by and things became gradually more serious until in late-September when I moved in because he offered that I needed a safe place to get my new life in order and get back on my feet. Since then we have became not just star-crossed lovers and soul mates united, but a family. We have a gaggle of smart and beautiful children that adore each other and hanging out with us and we are both happier than we have ever been before and so thankful we were united at last.

Our home is a big, old house. Over 100 years old to be exact and my Mister (as I lovingly call him because we will not be publicly open until after everything is resolved sometime next year) spent most of his past free time fixing and remodeling every room, nook and cranny until we got serious and I began helping as well. It feels like such a positive environment as soon as you walk in the door and you feel a lightness that is created from love, effort and a million memories left from a happy family. The floors, stairs and accents are lovely and original hardwood, there are 4-stories including a finished basement and loft studio and our sparkly mint and latte fireplace we just rehabbed and intricately tiled is the heart of the home. There is a large, fenced-in backyard with gardens of all kinds and a play set for the children. The front has gardens, stones and red hedges to welcome passersby. There are two balconies, one amazing one off our bedroom and another unfinished as well as a big front porch. It is a big change going from apartment life to a antique mansion but I’ve adjusted quite nicely and I adore living here. I haven’t felt I had a home since I was a child and I feel through and through that this is my home and my long lost beautiful family, my cute 15-year-old house cat Hobbes included.

I am happy now. I have found my higher power and I don’t take any medications for anxiety or depression anymore, I don’t ever drink even recreationally or socially and I work towards a more healthy self daily. I still have struggles such as doing extremely trying self work and moving on completely and I recently found I have pre-cancer which I have been getting treated but I never thought it was possible for me to have what I have. It has been an IMMENSE amount of work thus far and still is as I am still not where I want to be. I’m rebuilding myself online yet again and offline as well in my new community. I adore the opportunities that continue to pour in and I very much missed blogging and doing designs especially for you. I am home now and I am back. Thanks for hanging in there on this long and bumpy ride. You wont regret it!

Some exciting things coming in the future that were put on hold over a year ago: kid-friendly projects and activities, more reviews, interviews and features, his and hers articles, the world according to us articles, more tasty and easy recipes, positive energy projects, diy and craft projects, kawaii kitty care articles, art features, more products in our new shop (officially open again!), pretty photo shoots and daily life shoots. Stay tuned!